Don’t hate me because I’m a loli.
You see them everywhere now in anime, loli’s (usually small, cute, and adorable girls) that you want to……..pinch, to make sure they’re real ^^. But is there a loli army building itself up to take over otaku’s everywhere? They are a dangerous bunch and must be taken seriously when confronted. What fiendish weapons do they have in their arsenal that will make even the mightiest otaku fall on his/her knees and beg for forgiveness for not following the loli? Continue reading and you may find out…..
Warning: Loli intensive post
Loli’s tend to have smile that can melt your heart, if you are not prepared for it then you should not even take a glimpse at the loli.
The loli sometimes move in packs, commonly referred to as MP (moe packs). The MP is able to hunt down the loneliest otaku with their otakudar (as seen below) and feeds it full of moe before he becomes a meal for the MP itself.
The loli sometimes takes a mysterious forms called “chibi,” the loli can change in and out of this form at will. It is believed the loli does this in order to attract moe-starved otaku close enough to attack. It has been advised to stay away from the loli when it is in this form, you have been warned.
Loli’s are quite adaptive to most environments, whether it be in nature or urban city areas. Further study is needed to find how loli’s are able to adapt so well, as they are seen everywhere from forests in the US to the streets of Akihabara in Japan, maybe there is one next to you?
No matter how much the loli craves for attention with it’s sweet loli voice, especially if she starts calling you nii-sama/nee-sama (great brother/great sister), ignore it as this is just a technique the loli has gained from evolution to get closer to its victims to gain the victims trust and aid to avoid detection by “simulating” into the crowd or to gain protection from other dangerous animals (second picture below).
Lol. Awesome post. Great insight there on their weaponry and the tricks up their sleeves. Now if only this post came out a year earlier, I might have been saved. Now I’m holding ticket no. 175,548,659 and it won’t be too long before the MP drops by to appraise me and subsequently elect me to be their meal (T_T)
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LOL, awesome. Great satire.
That last screenshot still makes me laugh. BRB, I need to go watch some Potemayo. :O
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But the chibis… They haunt me at night… They haunt me in my dreams… And the eyes OH THE EYES!
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LOL. I guess i wont survive first contact with the loli army.
Even worst, i *might* betray my comrades and join the lolis.
A fair amount of the girls you mentioned aren’t actually loli:
The Manabi girls, natsuro drops girl.
Well not that much, but still
I’ve survived a LOLI ARMY before.
It was an amazing feat indeed.
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SEXIEST POST EVAR.
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@shinohai: Those MP’s are a dangerous bunch, I wish for your safety ^^.
@Orion: Potemayo is a great anime and one of my top 5 favorites.
@Sylon Beta: Loli eyes, one of the worst weapons nature has provided for the loli.
@Setsuna-san: Noooooo, don’t go to the loli-side lol.
@Nu: Really? Hmmmmmm, maybe your conception of loli and my own are different. I consider the two loli’s because the girls look like they belong in elementary but are actually in high school.
@xXMikotoNakadaiXx: I’m glad you survived to give us more awesome posts on your blog.
@21st Century Digital Boy: Thanks, it is sexy lol ;p.
even though i haven watch Shana yet, but damn! She is just so CUTE!!! Must..Watch..Shana…
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I tend to separate young loli (Pics 1, 4, 5 and Potemayo) to older loli (the latter being in their adolescence). Even if I tend to watch some series featuring the latter (Lucky Star, Shakugan no Shana and maybe Clannad one day, etc., etc.), I don’t have any nosebleeds for them. I prefer slightly older, more mature ones (As an example, I’d be more interested in Margery-san than Shana or Yoshida-san).
Maybe my preferences go for characters with a certain design. Doe-eyed characters are not in my list.
Just my two cents.
Maybe not pic #5 as young loli after all.
@AS
None of those girls look like they’re in elementary school to me.
All those girls are easily teenagers characters, the Manabi girls being chibified extremely non loli characters (you just need to see the manga to figure that out).
Sumomo (the girl from Nanatsuiro Drops) isn’t loli either and looks no way like she’s in elementary school.
http://moe.imouto.org/post/show/6508/akihime-sumomo-nanatsuiro-drops-swimsuits-yaeno-na
@Seiryuu: Ahhhh, you do not follow Shanaism. Well I will convert you, as I did D_Blade lol, to Shanaism with my moe and kawaii pics of doom.
@D_Blade: Same here, no nose bleeds. It’s more of a moe feeling that you get from seeing loli’s that make them so popular.
@Nu: I respect your opinion as I find characters to be non loli while others disagree as well. But honestly the first time I saw Manabi straight I thought “Is this elementary or middle school student?” The first character shown being Mikan, who I consider the chibiest, which led to my initial confusion.
Darn, now I feel the loli fetish being unlocked in me :/
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@AS
Of course it’s not obvious because of the chibiness, but then again, if you look at the official website you notice that they’re actually almost all over 150cm tall. Also the manga is much more obvious as the non chibi artstyle reveal their breasts
Most peoples who still think they’re loli are usually wannabe lolicons or clueless
@Windbell
Wasn’t it already unlocked long ago anyway?
Its too late. I’ve already fallen.
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